New blog

Hey everybody. I have a new blog: nuncleben.blospot.com (I think). I'll still use this for Apt. 12-related stuff, but the other one will be used for pretty much everything else.

Ben's Old English word of the day

Endwerc, noun: A pain in the buttocks.

Sample usage:

Se lareow is endwerc (That teacher is a pain in the buttocks)

Tha ic to mycel kasena ete, tha haebbe ic endwerc. (When I eat too much cheese, I have a pain in the buttocks).

*That last one is a bit of a stretch, as buttocks are not equal to the digestive system. And I'm going off of memory here: I'm not sure is "kasena" is correct for cheese.

I have to ask...

Ben,

Please share with us what it's like being on campus during the worst year in Notre Dame football history. Surely you must feel some sort of personal responsibility. I'd like to hear your thoughts, especially after you used a poor old man as a scapegoat to brag up your team without risking being wrong yourself.

But, hey, the Irish could still beat USC. And slobbering Lou Holtz could start dating Paris Hilton...

Dark, dark day

From a press release on the upcoming G.I. Joe movie:

"While some remember the character from its gung-ho fighting man '60s incarnation, he's evolved. G.I. Joe is now a Brussels-based outfit that stands for Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity, an international coed force of operatives who use hi-tech equipment to battle Cobra, an evil organization headed by a double-crossing Scottish arms dealer."

He's evolved. I understand this. After 4 years in Iraq, many Americans (not to mention internationals) would probably be uncomfortable with "He'll fight for freedom, wherever there's trouble / G.I. Joe is there!" The idea of an American military force of do-gooders jetting around the world has probably passed its prime.

But still...Brussels? Hi-tech equipment? Whatever happened to really cool tanks and jets and a hovercraft? Did they have to castrate him so completely? And the same for Cobra: how did an evil terrorist organization bent on world domination become a Scottish arms firm? So long, G.I. Joe: we'd really prefer something more along the lines of "The Constant Gardener." Really, the new name says it all: Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity.

So much for a real American hero. We get Captain Euro instead.

Democracy in action

The fine gentleman who bought Barry Bonds' record breaking home run ball no. 756 is putting its fate into the hands of the public. You can vote to:

A) have the ball bequeathed to Cooperstown as-is.

B) have the ball branded with an asterisk, and then bequeathed to Cooperstown.

C) have the ball launched into outer space.

You can vote whichever way you want, but I recommend B. Think about it: while outer space would be cool and dramatic and all, an enduring legacy of shame is even better. Revenge is a dish best served cold. And eternal.

Global Warming and its affect on our youth

"I Personally believe" that I don't know why the crap I went to school.

Lou Holtz...

...predicts that the Irish will win 10 games this year.

Of course, he also predicted that the Irish would beat LSU. I love that old man.

I don't know what he's smoking, but I love that old man.